The Rape Victim of Kwa Mashu

The Rape Victim of Kwa Mashu By Ezrom Serame Mokgakala Toronto, Canada.

My name is uThandeka. I was born on the third day of December 1980, in a ghetto called Kwa Mashu on the outskirts of the City of Durban on the East Coast of the Republic of South Africa. My name means the Lovable One in isiZulu- one of the eleven official languages of our country.

Some people call me Thandi-short for uThandeka-, that makes me feel uncomfortable because it reminds me of the day when my uncle uMandlakayise raped me, for as he raped me he kept on repeating my name saying “Thandi, Thandi, Thandi, Thandi .……” many times.

Like most young girls who have been raped I am ashamed of myself, because I could not complain to anyone, except my Grandmother, uGogo, uMmaNkabinde whose remarks were “…rape is the price you pay for being a beautiful girl in Kwa Mashu.” I felt that she was blaming me, the victim.

According to uBoniswa- my maternal aunt- (meaning One who was Shown Visions)-I was born “a real bundle of joy.” She told me she was the one who gave me the name uThandeka. My mother preferred the name iNkosazana (the Princess), that is why my full name is iNkosazana-e-Thandekayo, meaning the Princess who is Lovable.

I am also told that my uncle, uMandlakayise (meaning His Father’s Power), a photo-journalist by profession, was so impressed with my good looks that he emptied the film in his camera taking pictures of me when he first saw me. One of those pictures appeared on the front page of Ilanga Lase Natal, our popular provincial newspaper. The clippings from that newspaper still occupy pride of place on one of the walls of my Grandmothers’ living room.

My Aunt uBoniswa, piles lots of praises on me every time she meets me. “I could tell from the very day you were born,” she always tells me, “that you were going to be the Queen of Kwa Mashu Township.”

“Is that why you named me uThandeka?” I asked her.

“Yes! I named you uThandeka.” She proudly answered. “But your mother preferred to call you iNkosazana-meaning the Princess, because she claimed that your good looks were the envy Zulu royalty. Everyone felt that the young-men of Kwa Mashu would worship the very ground on which you stood.” She said.

But leave it to my Grandmother, uGogo, uMmaNkabinde, as we fondly call her, to give praises to the ‘beauties’ of our tribe. On every visit to my Gogo’s apartment I am certain to hear of our above average good looks and especially hers and mine; and that many people say I look very much like her.

On such visits, I would also be shown her photo-album and the trophies she won in her younger years. Also in the album are photos my mother, uMaMbatha, uNomusa-The Merciful Lady- with her trophies and a special photo of hers with Cedric Xulu and Ace Mnikathi-the stars of the Zulu Royals Football Club of the nineteen sixties, taken when she was chosen the Miss Zulu Royals Football.

On my last to visit to my Grandmother’s, she gave me a long hard gaze and said to me, “Thandi, my child’s child, look at me straight in the eyes. I want you to know that it is now your turn to give the Zulu Nation a Beauty Princess, you’re going to be Miss Inkatha Freedom Party.” She said instructively.

“No! Gogo, I cannot be Ms. Inkatha Freedom Party. I am not a member of that Party.” I protested.

“You can be a member of the Party anytime you wish. Anyway, why are you not a member?” she asked.

“You know why I am not a member of the Inkatha Freedom Party, Gogo.” I said. “I refuse to join this Party because I am a member of the African National Congress.” I added.

“You dare not say that to your uncle, Thandeka, you know that your uncle has worked very hard for many years so that the family can benefit from the Party membership. One of those benefits is that you could win the Ms. Inkatha Freedom Party Contest of 2007” she said.

“Gogo,” I said,” have you ever considered the impact of winning this contest could be on me? Don’t you think that this exposure will make every youngman in Kwa Mashu want to rape me?”

“You’re being a pessimist, Thandi. You’re always looking at the darkside of life. Be an optimist. Don’t think of rape. Think of the possibility that every young man in Kwa Mashu would wish to marry you if you win this contest. Don’t you think that would be more exciting?” She asked.

“No! Gogo, I have no interested in being married to any ‘young-man of Kwa Mashu’. My eyes are seeing far away, beyond the boundaries of Kwa Zulu.” I said with a smile on my face.

“You must be joking Thandeka, because we have big plans for you.” She said with her friendliest smile, while spreading her hands to show the enormity of the plans.

“What are those ‘big plans’ and who are these ‘we’ who have big plans for me?” I asked her sarcastically, using my fingers to indicate the “we” and like her, spreading my hands to indicate the size of the plans.

“This is confidential. I cannot reveal those people and their plans to you until you promise to keep this a secret. Will you?” she asked.

“Gogo, these plans involves me. I have a need to know what these plans are and who these people are. I reserve the right to use that information anyway I choose.” I said.

“True, you have a need to know, but unless you promise to keep this a secret, I cannot answer you. Will you swear by your Late Grandfather to keep this a secret?” She asked again.

“OK! Gogo, I swear by my late Grandfather, uMkhulu, uMbatha, that I will keep this a secret,” I answered, showing solemnity by crossing my index fingers.

“Good girl,” she said, “now I can have a serious discussion with you. As you know, your uncle is one of the most influential members of the National Executive Committee of the Inkatha Freedom Party of South Africa. You know that, don’t you?” She asked.

“Yes, Gogo, I know that,” I said.

“He was here yesterday to tell me that the Party has authorized the Youth League to organize a Beauty Contest as a Fundraising Event and your name came up as a possible contestant. He was requested to ensure your participation in this contest. I know that my Thandi will win this contest if she participated. Will you participate, my child’s child?” she asked, urging me into accepting her proposal.

“NO! Gogo, I cannot participate in this contest.” I protested emphatically.

“Thandi, my child’s child,” said my Gogo, “you must accept this. It comes from your uncle, you know how furious he can be when he is rejected. Please say Yes!”

“No! Gogo, I am refusing and if you want to know why, it is because I see my uncle’s dirty hand behind all this.” I said. “You know that I want nothing to do with uMandla since he raped me, Gogo,” I said, spreading my hands to illustrate my point.

My Grandmother became mad with rage. She hid her face in her hands for a moment and took a deep breath, then she said; “tell me, my child’s child, why do you hate your uncle so much?” She asked, barely concealing her rage.

“Gogo,” I said, breathing heavily to hold my anger, “wouldn’t you hate somebody who raped you?” I asked her in return.

I could see a look of surprise in her face but she composed herself and said, “I would, my child’s child,” struggling to contain her surprise, “but I wouldn’t allow that to stand between me and the prize of being the Princess of Kwa Mashu. Do you know how many girls have been raped by their uncles in Kwa Mashu? Rape is a common thing in Kwa Mashu. Think about that, Thandeka!” She added.

“Oh Yes, Gogo! I thought about that many times. I know that thousands of young girls have been raped by their uncles or other close relatives in Kwa Mashu. But I think that this must stop, more especially during these days of the AIDS Pandemic.” I said. “If I could help it, no girl in the whole world would ever be raped by anyone, let alone a close relative. Whoever did that would be severely punished.” I said, breathing heavily with anger. “I would rather be remembered as the girl who brought an end to rape than for being a titular Princess of Kwa Mashu,” I said with tears streaming down my cheeks.

“I promise to help you fight the AIDS Pandemic if you agree to participate in this contest.” She said, holding my hand to give me some comfort. “It will be easier to fight this Pandemic when you are a Princess than being a wasted pretty little girl in Kwa Mashu. Please accept this for your Gogo’s sake Thandi,” she appealed.

“I told you some time back Gogo, that I do not believe that beauty is skin deep. These days beauty is skin deep.” I answered. “For me beauty lies in the heart. One cannot be beautiful if one does evil things.” I continued.

“What do you mean when you say ‘these days beauty is skin deep’?” she asked. “You’re far from doing evil things when you participate in a Beauty Contest. If you were, your Gogo,uMaNkabinde wouldn’t be pleading with you to take part. You’re in this for your Gogo. Will you do that for me, please Thandi?” earnestly urging me.

“No! MaNkabinde, I will not. Look at aunt Boniswa. Look at her face.” I said. “Someone poured boiling water on her face for taking part in a Beauty Contest. You remember that, don’t you? No! Gogo? NO! I don’t want to look like that, Gogo. Do you want me to look like her?” I asked her.

“No! Thandi my child’s child,” She replied. “I want you to be Ms. Inkatha Freedom Party, not to have someone pour boiling water on your face. I don’t want that. You must look beyond your aunt uBoniswa, look at uNobuhle (Ms. Beautiful) her daughter. See how pretty she looks? It shows that beauty is in our blood and not on our skin.” She said with pride.

“Gogo, I told you I have plans of my own,” I said, trying to change the topic. “I need time to think about them.” I appealed for her consideration.

“You need to think about them fast!” She said, ignoring my plea for a chance to consider my plans, “the whole Zulu Nation is waiting for your decision. They cannot wait for ever,” she said, indicating impatience. “Your uncle will be furious if you make the wrong decision.” She warned.

The mention of my uncle’s name infuriated me. It made me feel like exploding. I tried to stand up but couldn’t. I felt like I was glued to the chair on which I was seating. The words “..your uncle will be furious…”kept ringing in my head. That made me angrier. Finally I stood up and said “Gogo, I can’t stand this any longer. What if I loose?” I asked her for what appeared to be the umpteenth time.

“I told you that there is no way you could loose this contest, Thandi, this contest is yours to win, you just take part in it and you win. We always win these contests. One last time, Thandi, my child’s child, are you going to disappoint me? I need to know your answer now before your uncle arrives. He will be here anytime now.” I could sense her exacerbation.

“Yes, Gogo! I am going to disappoint you. I am not going to be Ms. Inkatha Freedom Party. I don’t want to be a member of Inkatha Freedom Party and I will not allow myself to be made into a political football.” I said, with some finality.

“Please say yes! Thandi,” she said with desperation. “Just say ‘yes!’ then I will do anything for you,” she implored. “If you refuse, your uncle will never speak to you again,” she threatened.

Her desperation made me to think of another excuse. “I don’t need to speak to my uncle, you know why and besides, you know that my father, uBaba uMtimkhulu, (The Big Tree) hates these contests, did you ask for his opinion?” I asked, trying to postpone the unpleasant decision. “I need his permission.” I added.

“Thandi, my child’s child, your father is an idiot. He knows nothing about Beauty Contests,” she said. “He is an old-fashioned Zulu man, besides, if you care for a little gossip, he is a hypocrite, do you know how proud he was when his then girl-friend, uNomusa your mother won the Miss Zulu Royals Football Club Contest?” she asked. “He was the toast of Kwa Mashu.” She added.

“Perhaps I should ask for his permission, don’t you think so,” I asked.

“No! You are not going to waste my time because of an old fashioned Zulu man.” She said angrily.

“But you wouldn’t want to anger him Gogo, would you?” I asked. “You know, Gogo how an angry Zulu man reacts.” I said, with a smile on my face.

She smiled back and said, “Yes I know, but I can always get your uncle to deal with him.”

“I wouldn’t like to see two angry Zulu men clash over me,” I said jokingly.

She also laughed and said; “jokes aside, you will get great media exposure and a key to a career in modeling and more especially in filming.” She said, still trying to convince me.

“I am not interested in a modeling or an acting career,” I said. “I’d rather be a nurse to help the sick especially during these days of the AIDS Pandemic.” trying to take the higher road.

“Remember, I promised to do anything for you if you accept this proposal,” she said, showing increased anger. “Will you take this opportunity or not?” giving me an ultimatum.

“I am afraid I won’t, Gogo. I don’t want to be the laughing stock of Kwa Mashu, Gogo.” I said, my body shaking with anger.

“No one laughs at someone who looses a beauty contest, Thandeka.” She said, whilst coming closer to me so as to emphasize her point. Suddenly she shouted, “do you know how many girls would die for an opportunity like this one?” she asked “You have a chance of a life time Thandi! You will remember this opportunity,” she said in an attempt to give me a final push. “All you need to do is to enter this contest and win,” she tried to assure me again.

“I told you Gogo, I can’t take that chance. I will be devastated if I lost.” I said again, still trying to deflect her urgings. “I told you that I need all the energy I have for my plan to fight the Aids Pandemic.”

“So, you have a problem of self-confidence, Thandeka, I will talk to MmaNdlovu, the Sangoma to help with your self-confidence.” She said with a smile.

I smiled back and nodded my head in an effort to calm her down. She mistook this to mean agreement with her. “Yes!” she said, “My child’s child is going to be Miss Inkatha Freedom Party 2007.”

“No Gogo!” I exclaimed, “I cannot be a Beauty Queen of a Party that I am not a member of, Gogo. Besides, if I loose, I may kill myself. That is why I do not want to join this contest. I am not a good loser. I told you that many times.” I repeated.

“Don’t worry,” she said reassuringly, “you will not loose because your uncle will fix that,” she said. “He can arrange such things,” she said reassuringly.

Sensing an opportunity to close this discussion once and for all I shouted, “Did you say Uncle Mandla can fix the results of this contest, Gogo?” I asked. “I cannot take part in a fixed competition. Did you say this was a fixed competition?” I asked, feigning astonishment.

“Yes! uMandla can fix such things.” She said excitedly. “I told you, your uncle is an influential member of the Party. He can bulldoze his way through this. He will make sure that you win.” She said with pride.

“You are right!” I exclaimed. “I know that my uncle can bulldoze his way through anything. He always wants to have things his way. It is high time he met his match. I have decided that I am that match. I’d rather use all my energy fighting the Aids Pandemic than being a Ms. Inkatha Freedom Party.” I shouted in uncontrolled anger.

“You dare not stand on your Uncle’s way, Thandi, he can close all doors before you and smash you to bits if you do that.” My Grandmother said.

If my Grandmother intended to intimidate me with those words, she was wrong because those words had the opposite effect. They angered me. I became adamant in my refusal to participate in the competition. “I don’t need him to open doors for me, Gogo.” I said. “I can open my own doors. And tell him MmaNkabinde,” I paused for a moment out of respect for my Grandmother and pointing a finger at her face, and said at the top of my voice, “tell uMalome uMandla, that I will stand on his way and dare him to smash me! I’ll tell him Gogo, that I’d rather devote all my energy fighting the Aids Pandemic that being a Ms. Inkatha Freedom Party.” I shouted, standing up from the chair and angrily stormed out of my Gogo’s apartment. I haven’t been back there ever since. I don’t think MmaNkabinde has seen an angrier Thandeka than the one she saw on that day.